Monday 9:00 pm
A trailer trash looking female driver stopped by to pick up the gangrene lady that day. I helped her locate the body in the cooler and open up the bag and ID the body. It smelled just as foul as it did the day before.
Today the family of the old man the Assistant and I picked up last week had their service. Turns out he and I were the only ones available for the casket service, so both of us stood in the chapel and carried the body into a very expensive casket. I wondered what the family thought, seeing the two of us again. I ran into the granddaughter of the man in the hallway later in the day and we chatted a bit. She asked if I get scared doing my job. I said I used to be but I'm better at it now. She gave me her phone number in case I want to chat again in the future. Now there's a first for me, getting digits in a funeral home.
The Asst. and I made some pick ups during the day since he wanted to get away from the mortuary for a while. It was odd driving with him during daylight since we usually ride together at night.
Tuesday 3:00 am
Just got back from driving all around picking up four decedents. First up was a residential in a ghetto ass part of town. There was a car with no wheels in front of the house; that kind of ghetto. A 200+lbs. woman died, presumably after a long illness. There were family around and among them was a young girl who asked me when I came in:
"Are you going to take my prize?" Yes, I'm afraid so, we're here to take grandma.
"Did she die?" Yes, she passed away.
Perhaps I could've put it better but I believe in being straight with kids. When taking the body out through the living room in front of everyone, the little girl asked one last time:
"Will you take good care of her?" Yes, we will. I promise.
Next up was a hospital call up north. From what I could tell, this was a cancer patient. It was a quick pick up. So quick that we decided to stop by In N Out for a bite.
Next was another residential call. Another long-term illness and the mother of the woman had to make the phone call. I imagine no matter how old you get, your child is still your baby. The mom was upset, seeming angry. You never know how people deal with their grief. No doubt she had valiantly taken care of her adult daughter for a long time. She fought back tears while trying to deal with us, I feel for her.
I'm happy to let the Assistant do all the talking with families. He's rather good at it. I'm content being Silent Bob, driving while Jay takes phone calls and tells me crazy stories of his younger days.
Last one was at nursing facility where an old man died. Two women were in the room, perhaps his wife and daughter. One was crying and the other was listening to the Assistant on what to expect next. We wrapped it up quick and left.
It was a lot of time driving but I don't mind. Roads are smooth and empty and I can cruise at a comfortable speed while maintaining my smooth nursing home driving style. I think the Assistant and I make a good team at night. We'll see what happens tonight.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Eau de Gangrene
Tonight was a good one and it may not be over yet. I've gotten used to staying up late Mondays and Tuesdays, or should I say I handle better being tired on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are easy since there are four or five of us drivers.
The Assistant and I got started around 9 tonight. I picked up a body at a small hospital. The main entrance was closed so I entered through the ER. The nurse called the House Supervisor down, an old lady I recognized and we went up to her office.
She had no record of the decedent. She asked if the patient was from the sanitarium next door. I said I didn't think so, I thought the body was in the morgue. I said the patient expired today and she called ER to ask about any deaths today. Nurse replied negative, and we were now wondering whether the body was here or not.
She called security and asked them to physically check the morgue, and voila, five minutes later security confirmed the decedent. We found the paperwork and I quickly scooped up the body and met up with the Assistant at the mortuary. One of the cosmeticians was working late by herself. She is a nice gal but loves to milk the clock.
Before going on a residential call, we were hungry so we stopped by McDonald's for a bite. Big Mac tasted delicious, and we chowed down right in the van, watching shady individuals in the parking lot in this ghetto part of town.
Onto the house call. An old man died. We were greeted by a large family inside. They were Buddhist, so they asked us to place a music player next to the head of grandpa and this music was supposed to play for days until the service much like the one I attended a couple weeks ago.
The music is loud enough to be heard in the next room, a folk song in a foreign language with simple cadences, repeating again and again. I mentioned to the Asst. that I'm going to hear this song in my sleep tonight as I drove away from the house.
Next up was a middle-aged woman from the hospital. Nothing unusual, we just loaded her quickly and were on our way back to the mortuary when the phone rang for a pick-up on the way back.
It was another small hospital, one without a morgue so we went up to the room. The body of a woman had a rotten smell, strong enough for us to put on masks. The Asst. said, "You know what that smell is? It's gangrene." I almost didn't want to know, since now the funk has a name. The woman's legs looked like roasted Poblano chilis, blackened by decomposition while she was still alive. I felt nauseated from the odor, so in the elevator with the body I held my breath. "Fucking stinks bro," the Asst. said. Gross.
We got back to the mortuary at midnight only to find the cosmetician still milking the clock. We shoved everyone into the cooler and parted ways for the night, waiting for another possible call later. I should rest my eyes, it's almost 3 am.
The Assistant and I got started around 9 tonight. I picked up a body at a small hospital. The main entrance was closed so I entered through the ER. The nurse called the House Supervisor down, an old lady I recognized and we went up to her office.
She had no record of the decedent. She asked if the patient was from the sanitarium next door. I said I didn't think so, I thought the body was in the morgue. I said the patient expired today and she called ER to ask about any deaths today. Nurse replied negative, and we were now wondering whether the body was here or not.
She called security and asked them to physically check the morgue, and voila, five minutes later security confirmed the decedent. We found the paperwork and I quickly scooped up the body and met up with the Assistant at the mortuary. One of the cosmeticians was working late by herself. She is a nice gal but loves to milk the clock.
Before going on a residential call, we were hungry so we stopped by McDonald's for a bite. Big Mac tasted delicious, and we chowed down right in the van, watching shady individuals in the parking lot in this ghetto part of town.
Onto the house call. An old man died. We were greeted by a large family inside. They were Buddhist, so they asked us to place a music player next to the head of grandpa and this music was supposed to play for days until the service much like the one I attended a couple weeks ago.
The music is loud enough to be heard in the next room, a folk song in a foreign language with simple cadences, repeating again and again. I mentioned to the Asst. that I'm going to hear this song in my sleep tonight as I drove away from the house.
Next up was a middle-aged woman from the hospital. Nothing unusual, we just loaded her quickly and were on our way back to the mortuary when the phone rang for a pick-up on the way back.
It was another small hospital, one without a morgue so we went up to the room. The body of a woman had a rotten smell, strong enough for us to put on masks. The Asst. said, "You know what that smell is? It's gangrene." I almost didn't want to know, since now the funk has a name. The woman's legs looked like roasted Poblano chilis, blackened by decomposition while she was still alive. I felt nauseated from the odor, so in the elevator with the body I held my breath. "Fucking stinks bro," the Asst. said. Gross.
We got back to the mortuary at midnight only to find the cosmetician still milking the clock. We shoved everyone into the cooler and parted ways for the night, waiting for another possible call later. I should rest my eyes, it's almost 3 am.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Hot & Sticky
3:00 am
I was fortunate enough to have had 4th of July off. Hope you had a great holiday too. I was going to ask for it off last week but the Supervisor came up to me one day and told me to enjoy the holiday. I'd like to think it's because I'm a good employee and an unselfish coworker.
After a good sweaty run after work I was on-call tonight. The Assistant and I had to really earn our pay earlier, removing large bodies and sweating in our dress shirts. Three consecutive dead people over 200 lbs. Good thing the Asst. is an athlete who is in great shape.
First up was a home removal in a trailer park. Paramedics unsuccessfully tried to save the obese old lady on the floor and left her there. We collapsed the gurney and lifted her onto it and carefully carried her down a few stairs. The family members were quite large as well and there was food all over the place...
Second was a hospice call. We were told this one had Hepatitis C so we were careful. The nurse gave us a box containing an urn for the man's ashes after cremation.
A word about cremation: It's not really ashes you get in an urn. In the giant furnace called a retort, everything burns away except bones. The crematory operator then scrapes up the bones and grinds them in a giant grinder, much like a coffee grinder. What remains is ground bone the consistency of coarse sand. So next time you see an urn on a mantle at a party you can explain what's really inside.
Third case was inland. It was hot and humid, and mosquitoes all over the place. A big man died upstairs in his condo, another failed paramedic resuscitation. There were many family members downstairs. The man's daughter happened to be a nurse at a hospice but she couldn't help but be emotional and I can't blame her. At the request of the family we removed the trachea tube so they can see him one last time. We then waited outside fighting off very aggressive mosquitoes.
This situation was just like the Death Breath Lady. We brought up the stretcher and stood him up and we brought him down one step at a time. After some help from a big family member we said goodbye and jumped in the van, blasted the a/c then left, both of us sweating profusely.
After shelving the bodies we went to our respective homes. After midnight the Asst. called, a woman died in ICU of a hospital very close to me. So we met up in the loading dock and went upstairs looking for the ICU and expecting to see family of the deceased.
There was no family. This happens often at hospitals and nursing homes, where the nurses blatantly lie to the mortuary in hopes of moving out the body quicker. It's always, "Oh they just left...." Riiiight.
I was fortunate enough to have had 4th of July off. Hope you had a great holiday too. I was going to ask for it off last week but the Supervisor came up to me one day and told me to enjoy the holiday. I'd like to think it's because I'm a good employee and an unselfish coworker.
After a good sweaty run after work I was on-call tonight. The Assistant and I had to really earn our pay earlier, removing large bodies and sweating in our dress shirts. Three consecutive dead people over 200 lbs. Good thing the Asst. is an athlete who is in great shape.
First up was a home removal in a trailer park. Paramedics unsuccessfully tried to save the obese old lady on the floor and left her there. We collapsed the gurney and lifted her onto it and carefully carried her down a few stairs. The family members were quite large as well and there was food all over the place...
Second was a hospice call. We were told this one had Hepatitis C so we were careful. The nurse gave us a box containing an urn for the man's ashes after cremation.
A word about cremation: It's not really ashes you get in an urn. In the giant furnace called a retort, everything burns away except bones. The crematory operator then scrapes up the bones and grinds them in a giant grinder, much like a coffee grinder. What remains is ground bone the consistency of coarse sand. So next time you see an urn on a mantle at a party you can explain what's really inside.
Third case was inland. It was hot and humid, and mosquitoes all over the place. A big man died upstairs in his condo, another failed paramedic resuscitation. There were many family members downstairs. The man's daughter happened to be a nurse at a hospice but she couldn't help but be emotional and I can't blame her. At the request of the family we removed the trachea tube so they can see him one last time. We then waited outside fighting off very aggressive mosquitoes.
This situation was just like the Death Breath Lady. We brought up the stretcher and stood him up and we brought him down one step at a time. After some help from a big family member we said goodbye and jumped in the van, blasted the a/c then left, both of us sweating profusely.
After shelving the bodies we went to our respective homes. After midnight the Asst. called, a woman died in ICU of a hospital very close to me. So we met up in the loading dock and went upstairs looking for the ICU and expecting to see family of the deceased.
There was no family. This happens often at hospitals and nursing homes, where the nurses blatantly lie to the mortuary in hopes of moving out the body quicker. It's always, "Oh they just left...." Riiiight.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Another week in the books
Happy Friday. Yesterday I attended my first Buddhist funeral service at another mortuary in their chapel. My best guess on the language spoken by the monks was Vietnamese. Co-driver and I brought the old lady on a gurney and part of the ceremony was for us to carry the body into the casket. We didn't stick around for the end of the service, but I was told these services can go for three days.
This week a military casket came in containing the remains of a fighter pilot who was MIA in Vietnam since the 70's. Upon opening the casket to ID the body, we discovered that there was no body but just his uniform. Presumably there were bone fragments inside. Apparently he died a long time ago and his bones were discovered and identified almost 40 years later.
I'm having a hard time remembering cases I picked up. Perhaps it's age or lack of sleep, or because many cases (homes, morgues) are so similar. And it's not like I have time to study the people who died.
Yesterday we picked up the guy who murdered his g/f and her kids. He jumped to his death, the coward. The body of the father who killed his own kids was still here and a coworker joked that we should put these bodies together in a demeaning position. Such is mortuary humor I guess.
Another driver was hired and he's been riding with me. His van driving skills is below par so I hope he will improve in that area before he kills somebody. He's very knowledgeable about all the places to eat around town, however. To me that means he's lazy, since lazy people are highly diligent when it comes to food.
This week a military casket came in containing the remains of a fighter pilot who was MIA in Vietnam since the 70's. Upon opening the casket to ID the body, we discovered that there was no body but just his uniform. Presumably there were bone fragments inside. Apparently he died a long time ago and his bones were discovered and identified almost 40 years later.
I'm having a hard time remembering cases I picked up. Perhaps it's age or lack of sleep, or because many cases (homes, morgues) are so similar. And it's not like I have time to study the people who died.
Yesterday we picked up the guy who murdered his g/f and her kids. He jumped to his death, the coward. The body of the father who killed his own kids was still here and a coworker joked that we should put these bodies together in a demeaning position. Such is mortuary humor I guess.
Another driver was hired and he's been riding with me. His van driving skills is below par so I hope he will improve in that area before he kills somebody. He's very knowledgeable about all the places to eat around town, however. To me that means he's lazy, since lazy people are highly diligent when it comes to food.
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